Slowly taking a right hand turn out of my driveway as the traffic breathes to a trickle allowing me to enter, the afternoon stream of sunlight immediately penetrates the windscreen washing over my hands on the steering wheel, up my bare arms and wraps around my face. Squinting as I reach into my handbag on the front passenger seat for my sunglasses, the warmth is welcomed completely. Summer had allegedly long gone and Autumn had taken hold ~ but not today. The warmth was not that of Autumn but the gentle reminder that summer is never too far away. Rolling the windows completely down, the air rushes the car. The wind is equally as hot as the rays through the window and only slightly uncomfortable but given it may be a little while until I feel this again, I forgo the air-conditioner and embrace the raw elements.
There are a number of inconvenient red lights halting my easy driving path. Finally indicating left, I ease onto the freeway and allow the open road to guide me on a peaceful Sunday ride. The drive takes me away from the conventions of life ~ momentarily away from my responsibilities and duties and to embrace some peace of the mind.
Sundays are a convenient day of reflection. Traditionally God’s day of rest; then until recent times it was a family day before the demand for stores to open stole the sanctity and connections that Sunday enabled ~ Yet now Sundays appear to be no more distinct from any other apart from being the day before Monday ~ what is believed to be the most disliked day of the week. Sundays roll seamlessly into the weeks, while the weeks roll into the months and before we are able to catch our breath we are years forward.
It is during these solace moments of reflection that I am caught up in the amazement of where I stand. It is not always a positive or happy place to stand…but it is a position I put my hand up to acknowledge was a place I got myself to. While I didn’t chose all of the experiences I have lived through, I chose the way in which I reacted to them. The moments of reflection also enable me to understand things I have learned through experience ~ matters that I could not have been taught…
Through these experiences this is what I have learned…
Those expected to, do not always know what is best:
A difficult lesson to grasp and accept. I now understand ~ through both positive and negative experiences ~ that good and appropriate decisions are made at any age ~ Equally decisions that may be considered ill informed, incorrect or merely bad are made by people of all ages and even with a lifetime of experience in their life skills bag. Professionals equally do not always have the correct path way either. No-one is in possession of a crystal ball and every moment has a lifetime of consequences. Even by placing your trust in the hands of someone that you believe to be the best placed to do something, does not substitute your own intuition. It is only when things do not occur as predicted that we clearly understand that we are mere mortals and no one has a great power than one another.
You can never truly stand in another’s shoes:
Such a common yet offensive comment ~ I have come to believe and accept that offering to stand in another persons shoes does not make the opinion any more valuable or accurate in reflecting a better choice. The steps taken by each and every one of us are many; The steps have been taken in many different shoes ~ from runners and heavy duty boots to sandals and bare feet; and the steps have been taken for many different reasons. It is not simply about making better decisions than another ~ but is a statement of ego to say that their opinions are greater and more valuable without the considerations of the emotional experiences that have already been lived…
Control is a misleading concept:
Somewhere along the way we were convinced that the only manner in which to live successful lives is to be in control of it ~
To have control over who we are;
To have control of what we are;
To have control of where we are heading and how we are getting there.
We are expected to have control over our environments;
Control our life path and our emotions.
First and foremost ~
When we are worrying so much about having control over our circumstances, where are we allowing room for life to sweep us off our feet and surprise us?
It has been through very dark and difficult circumstances where I have learned to let go of control and to feel it all ~ to be responding instead of controlling. To cry when the tears have surfaced; to laugh instead of evaluate and to feel happy instead of to question it’s validity or wonder how long it will last.
Life requires we move forward:
When we cease moving, we are succumbing to a death of sorts. When we stop thinking, we cease challenging our minds and exercising our thoughts ~ When we disconnect from society, we cease the human connection that our soul requires for nourishment.
Life hurts ~ this is fact.
We can accept life changes, circumstances change and these changes are not always for the positive. Even in the most positive state of life we must acknowledge that we are able to feel hurt ~ we are expected to cry ~ to feel the immense pain of what we have lived through ~ and to wish for time to stand still ~ or sometimes more strongly ~ to travel back in time to when life was better ~ before the changes that caused the pain. Yet the reality is life still needs to continue to move forward.
Life… regardless of what it brings remember to continue to live it openly, whole heartedly and completely…