Disconnected

As she stands in the crowded city street, the bustling noise passes her ears swiftly. The murmurs of conversations could not come to grab her attention. Words hold no meaning. It was all just noise. The pounding of her heart filled all the noise her ears could hold. She stood where she was compelled to stop. Centre. The foot traffic continued around.

Closing her eyes she tried to connect. Connect with the world. Connect with humanity. Anxious tingles flooded her limbs, reaching right to the very edges of her fingers and of her toes. She has been disconnected from the world for a long while. She wasn’t sure she was ready to reconnect but she was told it was time.

She stood and watched. People travelled together in unison. It was as though they had purpose. It was as though they were part of a secret society of understanding and connecting with one another. She vaguely remembered being a member. She watched, observing the movement of their lips but there was no sound. She watched as a young woman walking reactively shut her eyes as her head tilted backwards and her mouth opened and shut in rapid movement. She guessed she was laughing. She recognized the succession of movements – she was once able to do the same thing. She watched a male stand behind a female as her eyes were emersed in a shop window. His eyes were firmly fixed on the woman before him. He seemed attentive to every detail of her face that he had vision of. His observance seemed honest and genuine. she was once looked at like that. But that was a lifetime ago now.

It was all a lifetime ago.

You were here

You were here.
You were strong and vibrant and all heart.
You were my strength and my support.
You were here.
You are the love of her life.
You were everyones teacher.
You were an amazing father.
You were here.
You were the inquisitor.
You were the explorer.
The historian!
You were here.
You were the inventor.
You were the fixer.
You were here.

Now your strength and vibrant personality is devistatingly missed.
She is grieving the man she loves.
Life is without compass.
Many things are left broken in your absence. Our hearts; our things
– Because you are not here.
Because you can never be here again.
Because the universe stole your presence and buried it away from us.

But you will always carry with me.
My heart will forever carry the ache of your absence, yet the abundance of your love.

I will forever be happy you were here – even for the briefest of time.

-F.P