I recently attended a seminar on resilience.
Pause… Reflect… Judge…
First question that raised in my conscience when I received the email inviting me to attend was, ‘what’s this all about?’ Then, ‘will this be of any use to any aspect of life‘? My head screamed ‘no!’ I felt as though I was resilient in life, or more appropriately I thought I could possibly run the seminar! I would have named it, How you keep going when a freight train smacks you down…
But…it’s January and my optimism is unrealistically higher at this time of year. I have generally rebelled against the concept of new year resolutions, yet that doesn’t stop me from getting sucked into the notion of new year, new intentions. The rebellion hasn’t stretched that far yet to give up completely.
So I clicked ‘accept’.
I then went about my day without a further thought.
The day arrived, the seminar was a single hour of my 24 hour day and I returned to life as I had been living before. Not even a dint.
Days past and while enjoying a morning shower, my mind without much brain power commenced sifting and sorting through my invisible reminders list and tasks for the day and week ahead. Then BOOM!!!
My mind suddenly flooded with question after question on resilience. Then that moment of flooding turned into the questions and analysis seeping into longer thoughts, until it eventually turned into background noise, nagging at the back on my mind. I commenced questioning my resilience.
Was I as resilient as I thought I was?
Do I understand resilience?
What does resilience look like?
Am I genetically predisposed to being resilient?
Is there a limit to when you are worn out and resilience just becomes ‘survival’?
Is there a point when resilience becomes numbness and nothing quite feels the same?
The word itself suggests a perception of strength and wisdom with expectation of nothing less. Suddenly the word itself felt offensive.
The seminar provided the definition of the ability to bounce back following a possibly traumatic event but it was important to note that its accepted that your form will change. That makes sense. But then I commenced thinking of all the ‘forms’ my being had changed into and suddenly things made more sense – this is the very reason I often don’t recognize the person I currently am!
It also answered the perplexing questions of ‘how the hell did I get here?’ And ‘My younger self would never have guessed this would be my current form‘. Our adult self often becomes unrecognizable to our younger self that often holds ideals of the world and who we will become in it.
‘Resilience’ also raised a question I had never before asked –
– Could your form become so changed and over stretched from trauma that your form gives up and stays out of shape?
– Is that when your resilience is broken and you have none left?
– Could you ever run out of resilience?
I have answers for none of these questions… merely more questions. I believe I am too young to expect to have any answers about resilience. I have a great deal of more life experience to accumulate before I can make the call that my resilience is either impeccable or broken down.
The beauty of life is there is still so much more to have and many more experiences to collect and perhaps the beauty of resilience is that these questions will never need answers…
Here’s to living…And living our most spectacular and authentic self…