As the vibrant early sun bathes my space on this crisp spring morning, I take a moment to embrace the simplicity of this happiness. A new day delivered upon natures’ beauty. And with the new day, sets new intentions. This happiness is created without any material item. It is purely a moment between myself and the greater universe spoken through nature.
As the Melbourne weather is slowly (and I emphasise very slowly) warming up and stripping away its hibernation status, it sparks the desire for reform within me.
My home is my sanctuary. It is the space I can fall away into ~ where the external world ceases to impact. Where I would close the doors and just exist. Along the way, I had been caught up in living life at a fast past and the accumulation of possessions had stopped reflecting the person within me ~ the person my soul was screaming to be. Many of the things I had come to own were suffocating my soul and pulling it into a conflict as they no longer served a purpose in my personal world. So the decision was made – they had to go.
Somewhere along the way I came to learn about ‘hygge’, a Danish word that means cosy warmth, spending time with the ones you love, in a home that is filled with light and well-loved items that fill you with everyday joy when you use them. That is precisely what I was aiming to achieve!
There is something therapeutic about spring-cleaning ~ almost as though a crusty layer of life is being removed to make way for a new opportunity. Spring-cleaning is a conveniently timed version of the currently trending ‘de clutter’. I have found myself falling into the romance of liberating myself of materialism, although I haven’t always been this way – truthfully I was quite the opposite. I use to love and feel the need to accumulate things. It was almost as though I was building the life I envisaged through possessions as opposed to building it through my soul. If I looked as though this was my life, surely it would only be a matter of time until I became it… right? The current, back-to-basics version of me no longer believes this to be true.
With an abundance of enthusiasm, I target my first area for reform. I open my wardrobe and step back to pause for a moment. The wardrobe is overflowing in all directions with ‘stuff’. The top shelf is bursting in disorder. My heart sinks ever so slightly within my chest as I immediately feel the enormity of the task, more aptly referred to as a dangerous challenge where god-knows-what can fall and suffocate me or knock me unconscious. For a moment I consider repacking my enthusiasm to opt out of this task – there were a hundred other things I could be doing with this time and my mind inflated this task to potentially taking months to complete! But as I stood there for a further moment and take some well needed deep, meditative breaths, I realise this is much easier than I first anticipated. Many of the items on the shelf are a mystery to me at this point. I have not seen or sought them out for at least two years and I quickly conclude that they are not needed. My new logic. I settle with this thinking from the outset and proceed to pile up a heap of clothes that will make it to a charity bin that very afternoon.
With each item, I consider whether it should be kept. In the past, the decision was based upon how much I liked the item, how much I had spent on the item and the potential future use I would have for it. Let’s be completely honest – I am a very optimistic, glass-half-full kind of person – I can reason any future use even without trying – hence how I ended up with some many unnecessary things.
Today, it is almost as though I am looking at my belongings with a new dimension – I had reversed the onus. I viewed each item as an anchor, potentially holding me in a stagnant position – I position I loudly chose not to be. Each item had the task to prove their worth as to whether they should be kept as opposed to keeping it being the default position. The question posed was whether this item represented the me of the past and whether that image represents the me of the present ~ forget the me of the future ~ she has yet to be invented.
The consideration of how much money I had purchased the item for also fell away. The money had already been spent, I was not going to recover that and there was a greater cost at stake – the cost of my authentic self and potentially at some point ~ my sanity.
At the conclusion of the wardrobe de clutter, the mountain upon the floor was piled almost as high as the wardrobe itself! And my being felt a little lighter. The me of this moment recognised that having an abundance of material possessions that I wasn’t using does not fit with the space in which my head is occupying, that being I was bringing life back to basics. The stuff was cluttering my world in more ways than just my wardrobe. The bursting wardrobe kept my mind occupied with constantly nagging feeling that I should be cleaning it and dreading actually opening it. It felt as though it was creating a mental block in my world.
I came across a quote by The Buddha
“The root of suffering is attachment”
This fits precisely with my feelings at this very moment… and with a de cluttered home world the suffering has ceased…