There are some experiences in life that fail to be adequately captured by words ~ parenthood is one such experience. While not all experiences are positive, we can choose the perspective of which we view things and a mere shift in perspective may be the line between a positive and negative in our personal world.
Today, I allow myself to be overcome with the blessings and gratitude in my heart and watch them overflow ~ that is the choice I make.
In the haze of the parental honeymoon period I have chosen to be completely present in the now as I squeeze my little, sleeping blessing tightly to my chest, feeling her heartbeat gently vibrate as a melody to my soul.
In this moment, I do not worry for the challenges ahead for they are a problem of tomorrow; nor do I dwell on the challenges of yesterday for they have been lived through and overcome.
I do not count the number of lost hours of sleep for I instead choose to count the number of smiles she gave while I watched her dreaming.
I do not count the number of times I drank reheated cups of coffee for I am instead grateful for the number of healthy feeds she consumed today.
I do not allow the memories of her few grumpy moments overshadow the many times she giggled today, the way her eyes sparkled at meeting new faces or as I watch as she listened to a new song.
I do not count the number of dirty nappies we changed today, I instead recall her playfulness of kicking her little yet growing legs and feel gratitude in my soul that she is growing actively as she should.
I do not resent the few times she called and sort comfort from mine and her Daddy’s arms, I instead embrace the closeness of feeling her heart beat against mine as I too take comfort in keeping her close just as I did when my internal body carried and nourished her.
In this moment, I do not count the numbers on a scale nor feel guilt at the hours I have not spent in a gym trying to reclaim an external body that existed before she did. I instead choose to count the many hours I spent playing, watching and soaking in all of what she is and what she is becoming.
And I thank her for reminding me of what life is truly about ~ about the simple things ~ about being present in the here and about being present in the now for in time I will have these memories created in these moments to look back upon to relive in my heart, with smiles, joy and an abundance of gratitude.