If money weren’t an issue how would you spend your time?

This week I learnt two new things about life dreams.

 

First, everyone dreams of travel. They either wish to travel more or start and travel for the remainder of their days – unsurprising really – travel is the ultimate dream for many – me included.

 

Second – even if coming into a substantial sum of money (think the recent USA lottery jackpot of way too many millions for one person) many people will choose to continue working – just in a different capacity to the job they are currently in.

 

If money weren’t an issue how would you spend your time?

 

It appears unanimous that we want to spend our time productively whether that be volunteer work, developing a hobby further or starting up that business we have dreamed of and built up in our own minds a hundred times. So essentially if we have a financial safety net the leap of faith into the life we dream of would be taken with ease? Pause. Let’s take a moment to think about that for the briefest of seconds because we need to consider time.

 

Time is a concept pondered at length because it just is. It merely exists in its untouchable form and yet has the most profound impact upon how we chose to live. There are people fighting for more time; we are often quoted as saying we have no time and that time is going by quickly. Perhaps the better question is how are we spending time – the most precious aspect of life…

Yet time just is – It is an unforgiving. It exists without the ability of being manipulated. It cannot be paused or rewound or fast forward and if we don’t spend our time as we want, we are merely watching it pass by irretrievable because the greatest truth is that time is the only thing that can never be brought back.

 

Those at the end of their mortal time speak of regret and often in regards to taking leaps of faith. Why wait for life to be in such a way that you will feel confortable to take a leap – because what if that perfect time never eventuates? We wait for so many things! I will refrain from listing all the many things we wastefully wait for because I appreciate your time is of the upmost value – but if you don’t believe that yourself it may be time to reflect a little deeper because our tomorrows are never guaranteed.

 

Right now, there is someone out there that was brave enough to step out – even without a huge financial safety net – and this person is now living your dream. They didn’t wait for a lotto win that may never come because they put the highest value on their dreams and decided that leaving it to chance and in the hands of the universe was not an option. They most likely shared your reservations. Your concerns also weighed on their shoulders. Your worries probably kept them awake at night. They undoubtedly listed all of the ways they could fail and they may not have succeeded completely first time, or the second…or the third time… but there is one big difference between you and them in this moment – the biggest difference is that they bundled up all of the concerns and fears and they took the leap – and they are living your dream with their feet up and cocktail in hand marveling down at the creation of their happiness – because no one hands you your dream… you create it!

This person is now working in your dream job and living life with the satisfaction of patting themselves on the back for realizing that often there is no better time than now.

 

Your mind is unmistakably and silently screaming out in fear. Fear can be debilitating. Fear of failure is a great concern but realistically the only failure is never getting started. Perhaps the word ‘failure’ should be replaced with the term ‘degree of success’ which is determined by you… just some food for thought…

 

Ultimately, I am not here to say jump prematurely – or to take massive risks to achieve big unless you calculate the risks and jump wisely and with knowledge and a plan – but take steps to get there. Start moving your dream in the direction of having it realized because in the words of Les Brown

 

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry our their dream.”

 

 

Let’s change that today…

 

 

 

~ F.P

 

And a Happy Valentines Day to you… from you

Valentines Day.

The day marked in a calendar to remind us to display and celebrate love and appreciation, often in the form of grand gestures. Flowers, chocolates, cards, candle lit dinners, gifts, hot air balloon rides, picnic in the park – anything synonymous with the concept of romance.

 

The historical aspect of the significance of this date appears to have been blurred somewhere along the way. One such story took me to ancient Roma circa 3^rd century where we are introduced to a Christian martyr called Valentinus. The story so goes that being sentenced to death for his religious beliefs and practices, he meets a young woman and the result is described as an all consuming love for one another and with all great love stories it would appear has only one fate… to end by death as did this one. In fairness and in comparison to Romeo and Juliet, this story of Valentinus started with his impending death.

 

He was alleged to have been executed on this day, February 14. In his legacy, he left a note for his love, signing it off “from your Valentine”. Yet again in fairness, as with all stories and particularly romances, the truth of the story is dependent upon who is telling it…

Leading up to this day, the advice for creating the perfect one have been endless with guidance of the type of gifts you can and can’t buy and the way you should or shouldn’t spend it. So many rules! It’s no wonder many have been sweating the arrival of this day in fear you can and will get it wrong… and if it isn’t the most perfect day you imagined, what then?

 

To some the day will mean nothing more than hearing and potentially witnessing many moments of love; to other’s it may be a day that will forever be marked in the diary of their love stories; and to others again it may be a day of some sadness for lost loves or no current romantic love… but why can’t it be a day to remind ourselves to love us first. Be your own champion in your story!

 

Today, like every day before and after should be a day to make yourself a priority in your own world! Love yourself first, completely and unconditionally! Regardless of whether you’re celebrating with a significant other or not, you should never neglect to fill your heart with your own unconditional love.

 

Today give care to what your soul is in need of and today listen…truly listen to your heart. Listen deeply through the haze of commercial hype and instead swim in the ambiance of the positive and loving energies being circulated today. In today’s society with the many tragedies and devastations’, it is rare that societies focus is on love and kindness in this way… let your soul take advantage of it and use it as a boost to reignite the passions. It should never be the role of another to love you in place of loving yourself. By recognizing your personal value independent of another’s value of you, you will never look to another to validate your place in the world. You alone are responsible for the footprint and legacy you will impose upon the world; and you are responsible for the love you bring in and put out into the universe; and you are responsible for the path upon which your life will take.

 

So today the day of love, be kind to yourself. Take a moment to nourish your soul. Do something to create the space in your heart for love and passion to swell unobstructed and be gentle of your minds thoughts to allow the free flowing of love and happiness to be embraced.

 

Today show the world that you are not afraid of love… and today and everyday show that you will love yourself just as much as you do and will love others. Create some space in your soul for a deep and connecting love with yourself for it will be a love that will create the life and happiness you seek… and that is a love that creates love stories that even Shakespeare would envy…

 

~ F.P

And a Happy New Year to you!

New Years Day is the perfect moment to take a long and anticipated breath.  One of the great joys of life is taking a break from our routines and having some space to think and reset our practices.

As we all take a collective sigh that the Christmas chaos has now passed and the count down to welcome in a new year has now concluded, we can now actually start our focus upon the new years resolutions we may have created.

Our common resolutions range from becoming fitter, healthier, living more holistically, working less, make more money, travel more… the list continues.  As life moves in cycles, our priorities change.  The new year resolutions you made last year may not be as important as this year.  Additionally, twelve months is a long time and life can change in a moment, altering the course of everything you were initially working towards.  This is plainly and simply life.

The new year break gives us the possibility to step back and assess what is not working in our world with fresh, optimistic eyes… however, it is easy to romanticism what life should look like verses the reality of what life is and what is realistically achievable.

January 1 provides a day of optimism about life and with it, we often try to pack a great deal of new practices into our already busy and time challenging life.  For whatever reason, it has now become more realistic to make some life changes than it was days before.  I am not immune to the crazy, infectious optimism that is the concept of new year, new intentions.  Quite honestly, it is my favourite time of the year!

I often hear successful people speak of the ability to have it all – just not all at once.  This is a quote I hold to be true and this year it has been the foundation upon which my resolutions have been created.

This year instead of setting the intentions of what I will do more of, I am taking life back to basics – a lifestyle I have been working towards for the entire duration of 2015.

I have decided that I want 2016 to be about quality and ultimately living life basically.

I have decided that this year will be about positive living and to create a sustainable lifestyle of health, quality and living as authentically as possible ~ and I acknowledge that throughout the next twelve months what this looks like may differ from month to month and I will be awake to life to acknowledge and make necessary adjustments.  There will be absolute ownership of all choices and therefore no room to hold regrets. With these intentions, I have recognised that stripping away the unnecessary, it will enable me to rediscover what about me is my authentic self and I am diving into this challenge with great excitement and enthusiasm.

 

Whether you choose to create new year resolutions or not, remember that everyday is about the choice to live your life on your terms. Whilst you may be sitting around feeling unhappy and unable to change your circumstances, ask yourself if that is an absolutely accurate description of your circumstances… because the only thing that can never be retrieved once lost is time…and in honor of all those who no longer have the gift of time, I have chosen to embrace and utilize every moment I am gifted with…

 

Here’s to 2016 your way!

~ F.P

Summer! And the 30 reasons why I love it!

As we roll through each season, there are clear changes within my personal world because of the changing seasons and the affect it has, whether it be my mood, the way my body feels in response, my motivational levels, the activities I want to engage in, the music I listen to, the foods my body craves…the impact is widespread through every facet of my life.

Mother nature is incredible and captures my heart in so many ways. There is a sense of surrendering to nature and allowing myself to be swept up in its beauty and glory.

Summer is a particularly special time of the year and has me feeling particularly uplifted. Summer days sit quite high in my memory bank, spilling over with so many reasons to love the season.

With the arrival of summer, I took a long moment to reminisce why I love it…and here goes:

 

1. After a hot day, feeling and smelling the summer rain and the thunder rolling in that brings a cool change…
   

2. Feeling the warm rays of the sun against my skin

3. Eating gelati from the ice cream van

4. Driving and listening to the summer songs blasting with the windows down and the wind flooding in
   ~ that’s right! The hot wind! Not the airconditioning…(Note: Well the air-conditioning features sometimes…okay, it’s featuring more frequently than not…)

5. Summer BBQ’s

6. Running into the freezing ocean and dipping into it – Even better at night!

7. Watching the sail boats breeze along the ocean – Even better if you’re sailing on it

8. Wearing a summer dress

9. The colours of the night sky

10. The amazing summer fruits

11. Drinking chilled anything

12. Home made icy poles or any icy pole!  Zooper Doopers!!!

13. Running under the sprinkler in the backyard

14. Enjoying the sunset from any spot… particularly the beach after a long day of swimming

 

15. Smells of the summer flowers

16. Open air cinemas!

17. Watching the Australian Open til all hours

18. The summer songs full of beats

19. Games at the beach – fresbee!!!

20. Enjoying the longer days – Thank you daylight savings!

21. The warm colours that come our during summer

22. Laying on the grass enjoying the sun

23. The night markets that pop up everywhere

24. Twilight at the zoo

25. The vitamin D lift

26. The sounds of the crickets at night – okay, so they can get annoying but you know it’s a hot summer night when you can hear them…

27. The spontaneos road trips

28. The genuine feeling of absolute relaxation because the sun just makes you feel like you’re on a holiday

29. The smell of the fresh cut grass

30. The street festivals

 

Everything in balance and I will no doubt be wishing for the cooler months to grace us soon, but in the meantime, I am embracing all of the beauty and simple happiness that comes from the basic things in life…

 

Here’s to enjoying the summer sun!

By Jensen A

~ F.P

I give you permission…

I see you… the little girl within me waiting.

I feel your excitement as though you are jumping up and down in my soul and I can hear your hums get louder as you sing to the tune in my heart, tapping your feet to it’s rhythm.

You have been waiting patiently as my body and my world grew up and adjusted to adulthood. You sat patiently through all of those uni lectures stressing our brain to fit and hold so much and I again made you wait patiently in those long hours at work when I searched our brain for the information stored.
You kept waiting patiently as our heart space became connected to another inside of us. I felt your excitement was almost too hard to hold… because the little girl inside us, me now has a playmate and i know you can’t wait to play!

So I give you permission…

~ I give you permission to sing your heart out to whatever tune falls within your heart;

~ I give you permission to jump into the puddle calling your happy feet as you walk past;

~ I give you permission to sit and colour pictures, allowing the world to slow;

~ I give you permission to twirl in circles with your arms spread out wide until you feel dizzy;

~ I give you permission to lay in the grass and watch the clouds change shape;

~ I give you permission to eat ice cream first at dinner or at breakfast if you choose;

~ I give you permission to wear colourful and mismatched socks because the silliness makes your soul smile…

I give you permission to dig deeply within your heart to find what makes your soul happy… and I give you permission to do just that!

Wait not for tomorrow what you heart seeks to do today ~ not because tomorrow may not come but because life is far too amazing to waste moment!

~ F.P

What no one tells you about parenthood…

From the moment a pregnancy is announced, well-intentioned advice floods in like an avalanche and will continue for the remainder of your parenthood, which is essentially for the rest of your natural life.

 

The majority of the advice is golden. I listen intently, as I categorize the advice depending on the subject (sleeping, feeding, teething, product advice…) and tuck the information into my back pocket, ready to be utilized when the time comes ~ and the time does come!

 

Everyone is quick to tell you how little sleep you will have and counters the information by advising you to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’; or strongly recommending you not to hold the baby all the time or they will become use to your hands as comfort; or will tell you how baby wipes will become your savior and you will need and use them for absolutely everything (this is very strangely quite accurate)! Or people will be quick to offer breast feeding advice and clothing brand recommendations – these are all very valid and valued but as I am almost five months into motherhood, I have come to understand that while parents share a huge chunk of their knowledge, there is a great deal of information that is not shared or spoken about that is vital to the maintenance of your sanity as a new parent and as the saying goes… knowledge is power.

 

So here are the things I have learned that no one told me…

 

You may experience a disconnect with everything else

 

From the very first antenatal appointment, I filed in forms and answered questions to assess my mental health for any red flags that I was suffering from any form of depression. These assessments continue after the birth by the maternal health nurse and while these assessments are vital, as is the information around how and where to access assistance, there is very little discussion about the reality and disconnect of the settlement of life once the child arrives. This may lead to confusion about whether they are in fact suffering from postnatal depression. It is very normal to take time to adjust. There could be feelings of hovering between your pre baby life of work and the way you socialized and the relevance you felt in those situations and the new life of parenthood. It’s a grey area of transition that truly settles when the visitors slow to a trickle as everyone else continues on as before, while you are still navigating the new structure (and un-structures) of your world.

 

Everyone tells you to forget about work and just enjoy being with the baby ~ again very valid and comforting advice… but no one tells you that when all of the newness and adrenaline of the birth wears off, you may feel unsettled and lost because you were so use to a hectic and busy worklife that the hours of sleep the baby will grab will leave you twiddling your fingers trying to either get comfortable with the new (and short lived) time you have or your hands, or you will try and fill the time with something you will newly consider as productive.

 

With all new things, adjustment takes time.

 

 

Time disappears

 

No one tells you that at the end of the day, when you are sitting there in your pajama’s (not even the attendance of religious door knockers or the post man delivering your online purchase could persuade you to change your clothes), that you will suddenly feel pangs of strange guilt at feeling as though you have ‘wasted’ the day, even though you have spent the entire time feeding, sterilizing bottles and making new ones, changing nappies, soothing, settling, playing and educating the baby as well as cleaning the house and ticking off chores all the while you forgot to eat yourself.

 

No one tells you that you suddenly feel defensive when someone innocently asks you what you did during the day. In your head, polite conversation suddenly becomes an accusing interrogation and you potentially looking crazy or guilty trying to justify your time and you sound as though you did something far worse than ‘waste the day’ with the baby in your pajama’s.

 

 

Fear, Anxiety and Irrationality

 

No one tells you that from the moment the baby is born a switch is flipped to signal the end of your carefree existence ~ and I don’t mean being able to be spontaneous and head out the door with 2 minutes notice for a lazy day at a beach after an hour drive to get there (summer is clearly on my mind).

 

The ‘parent you’ suddenly becomes fearful, anxious and irrational.

 

Stories of attempted or actual kidnappings, sexual violence, murders, freak accidents ~ basically any news involving children could cause you to have an anxiety attack as though the news story took place next door and begin to map in my own mind how I would prevent or cope with these situations because I am now one part of a two-man team assigned to the safety of another person (think ‘The Body Guard’ – my husband and I are now sharing the leading role of Kevin Costner and my baby is Whitney Houston!).

 

And in the moment of any illness (suspected or actual ones) you could be gripped with fear of the worst case scenario and already have decided that you will be the organ donor of whatever the baby needs ~ even if it’s the common cold.

 

No one also tells you that you will spend the rest of your life watching your baby’s chest for movement of the lungs to signal they are breathing and if there is any moment that you cannot see it – for that split second your heart could feel as though it will fall out through your feet!

 

 

Showers become a luxury and a safe haven

 

If you thought remembering to eat would be challenging, you probably didn’t anticipate that a shower would be even lower on your priority list, or forgotten off it completely until your significant other asks when you had a shower. And when you finally get a few minutes to shower, it is the very best place to press pause and be in the moment of presence and just enjoy the peace of doing something completely for yourself and to breathe. Those moments also give you the space to refuel your energy levels and realign your perspective. A bathroom lock might also be a sound investment for your sanity…

 

 

Babies are already wired with their own strong personalities

 

There are endless pieces of advice on how to raise the perfect child and to mold them from birth. Yet, what no one tells you about is that from birth, your child arrives with it’s own personality and unique qualities that they have been developing and creating for the nine months they were growing before their arrival into your arms.

 

You often hear as part of relationship advice that you can’t change another person – the same advice translates to a baby. Listen to what they like, what they don’t like, how they like things done. Everyone wants to be the best parent with the best child possible, but in reality you are raising a person who will become what they are meant to be ~ allow yourself to learn from them and merely guide them with your morals and values and then watch them add onto those teachings and develop their own (even in their later years when you loss hope and think they didn’t listen or learn anything of what you tried to teach them).

 

 

Enjoy these moments

 

Everyone will tell you to enjoy these moments … and this is the most paramount advice I hold in my soul to be the truest of the true.

 

These moments are fleeting and time continues to move forward. Let go of the expectations that may cause you lessen the fulfillment and enjoyment you are getting out of this time. It’s okay not to have reason or answers to everything you do – sometimes the answer is simply ‘because’ and that doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Parent the way you want to ~ take thousands of photos; spend hours just watching them; leave the house work until later; feel okay to just sit and cuddle them because you want one not because they need soothing; put together a cheesy scrap book – not to embarrass them when they are 18 but because you want to capture all of their quirkiness that make up this amazing person you created and you want to hold all of these moments like an ever growing time capsule…and share as much or as little of it as you choose to!
 

Throw out all expectations of what parenthood will look like because just like every adventure in life, the experience will guide you and sometimes you just need to let go and ride the waves of the unknown adventure.

 

 

 

~ F.P

Counting the blessings of today…

There are some experiences in life that fail to be adequately captured by words ~ parenthood is one such experience. While not all experiences are positive, we can choose the perspective of which we view things and a mere shift in perspective may be the line between a positive and negative in our personal world.

Today, I allow myself to be overcome with the blessings and gratitude in my heart and watch them overflow ~ that is the choice I make.

In the haze of the parental honeymoon period I have chosen to be completely present in the now as I squeeze my little, sleeping blessing tightly to my chest, feeling her heartbeat gently vibrate as a melody to my soul.

In this moment, I do not worry for the challenges ahead for they are a problem of tomorrow; nor do I dwell on the challenges of yesterday for they have been lived through and overcome.

I do not count the number of lost hours of sleep for I instead choose to count the number of smiles she gave while I watched her dreaming.

I do not count the number of times I drank reheated cups of coffee for I am instead grateful for the number of healthy feeds she consumed today.

I do not allow the memories of her few grumpy moments overshadow the many times she giggled today, the way her eyes sparkled at meeting new faces or as I watch as she listened to a new song.

I do not count the number of dirty nappies we changed today, I instead recall her playfulness of kicking her little yet growing legs and feel gratitude in my soul that she is growing actively as she should.

I do not resent the few times she called and sort comfort from mine and her Daddy’s arms, I instead embrace the closeness of feeling her heart beat against mine as I too take comfort in keeping her close just as I did when my internal body carried and nourished her.

In this moment, I do not count the numbers on a scale nor feel guilt at the hours I have not spent in a gym trying to reclaim an external body that existed before she did. I instead choose to count the many hours I spent playing, watching and soaking in all of what she is and what she is becoming.

And I thank her for reminding me of what life is truly about ~ about the simple things ~ about being present in the here and about being present in the now for in time I will have these memories created in these moments to look back upon to relive in my heart, with smiles, joy and an abundance of gratitude.

~ F.P

Does the world that surrounds you fit the person within you?

As the vibrant early sun bathes my space on this crisp spring morning, I take a moment to embrace the simplicity of this happiness. A new day delivered upon natures’ beauty. And with the new day, sets new intentions. This happiness is created without any material item. It is purely a moment between myself and the greater universe spoken through nature.

As the Melbourne weather is slowly (and I emphasise very slowly) warming up and stripping away its hibernation status, it sparks the desire for reform within me.

 

Spring Cleaning!

 

My home is my sanctuary. It is the space I can fall away into ~ where the external world ceases to impact. Where I would close the doors and just exist. Along the way, I had been caught up in living life at a fast past and the accumulation of possessions had stopped reflecting the person within me ~ the person my soul was screaming to be. Many of the things I had come to own were suffocating my soul and pulling it into a conflict as they no longer served a purpose in my personal world. So the decision was made – they had to go.

 

Somewhere along the way I came to learn about ‘hygge’, a Danish word that means cosy warmth, spending time with the ones you love, in a home that is filled with light and well-loved items that fill you with everyday joy when you use them. That is precisely what I was aiming to achieve!

 

There is something therapeutic about spring-cleaning ~ almost as though a crusty layer of life is being removed to make way for a new opportunity. Spring-cleaning is a conveniently timed version of the currently trending ‘de clutter’. I have found myself falling into the romance of liberating myself of materialism, although I haven’t always been this way – truthfully I was quite the opposite. I use to love and feel the need to accumulate things. It was almost as though I was building the life I envisaged through possessions as opposed to building it through my soul. If I looked as though this was my life, surely it would only be a matter of time until I became it… right? The current, back-to-basics version of me no longer believes this to be true.
With an abundance of enthusiasm, I target my first area for reform. I open my wardrobe and step back to pause for a moment. The wardrobe is overflowing in all directions with ‘stuff’. The top shelf is bursting in disorder. My heart sinks ever so slightly within my chest as I immediately feel the enormity of the task, more aptly referred to as a dangerous challenge where god-knows-what can fall and suffocate me or knock me unconscious. For a moment I consider repacking my enthusiasm to opt out of this task – there were a hundred other things I could be doing with this time and my mind inflated this task to potentially taking months to complete! But as I stood there for a further moment and take some well needed deep, meditative breaths, I realise this is much easier than I first anticipated. Many of the items on the shelf are a mystery to me at this point. I have not seen or sought them out for at least two years and I quickly conclude that they are not needed. My new logic. I settle with this thinking from the outset and proceed to pile up a heap of clothes that will make it to a charity bin that very afternoon.

 

With each item, I consider whether it should be kept. In the past, the decision was based upon how much I liked the item, how much I had spent on the item and the potential future use I would have for it. Let’s be completely honest – I am a very optimistic, glass-half-full kind of person – I can reason any future use even without trying – hence how I ended up with some many unnecessary things.

 

Today, it is almost as though I am looking at my belongings with a new dimension – I had reversed the onus. I viewed each item as an anchor, potentially holding me in a stagnant position – I position I loudly chose not to be. Each item had the task to prove their worth as to whether they should be kept as opposed to keeping it being the default position. The question posed was whether this item represented the me of the past and whether that image represents the me of the present ~ forget the me of the future ~ she has yet to be invented.

 

The consideration of how much money I had purchased the item for also fell away. The money had already been spent, I was not going to recover that and there was a greater cost at stake – the cost of my authentic self and potentially at some point ~ my sanity.

 

At the conclusion of the wardrobe de clutter, the mountain upon the floor was piled almost as high as the wardrobe itself! And my being felt a little lighter. The me of this moment recognised that having an abundance of material possessions that I wasn’t using does not fit with the space in which my head is occupying, that being I was bringing life back to basics. The stuff was cluttering my world in more ways than just my wardrobe. The bursting wardrobe kept my mind occupied with constantly nagging feeling that I should be cleaning it and dreading actually opening it. It felt as though it was creating a mental block in my world.

 

I came across a quote by The Buddha

 

“The root of suffering is attachment”

 

This fits precisely with my feelings at this very moment… and with a de cluttered home world the suffering has ceased…

 

~ F.P

 

Hooray for Spring…

Spring ~

The mere thought creates a lightness within my soul.

There is something truly magical about the transition between the seasons ~ there is something particularly special about the transition between winter and spring.

Images of pretty blossoms, the warmth of the sunshine, bright and uninterrupted blue skies dance within my mind. The smells of the freshly cut grass, of the spring trees all immediately calm my soul.  Spring was made to allow our souls to soar in adventure and playfulness.  It is our reward for surviving the harsh conditions of winter we are forced to endure.

 

As I shed my winter self, I stand upon the grass barefoot.  My breath digs deeply into my chest as my feet embrace the grounding.  Spring reminds my body to reconnect with the earth.  My face is bathed in the warmth of the sunshine. The gentle, warm breeze licks my cheeks as my eyes remain closed.

My life source is being recharged and my soul has thawed it’s way back to life.

Here’s to the season that truly makes my soul dance…

~ F.P

Life Advice to my Daughter

Parenting feels like a whole lot of mental gymnastics!

The months leading up to my daughters’ birth, I would get caught up trying to visualize what the baby would look like, not knowing she was a girl. I wondered about her eyes ~ the colour and shape they would be; the lips; the hands and feet… whether the baby would be born with hair. I would wonder about her personality ~ the questions were endless. Then she arrived and those questions were answered which triggered a whole lot of new thoughts. Now my mind is preoccupied with all of the things I want her to learn, experience and know and it feels like the list is ever growing (insert head explosive emoticon here).

I once heard a saying that it takes a whole village to raise a baby. The endless parenting blogs, social media forums and every personal opinion is keeping that saying alive. At first I was preoccupied with reading all the articles that gave advice on how to raise a ‘perfect’ child. It took but a few moments to stop reading them and sit back and think.

I didn’t want to mold the perfect child, dictated by societies standards. I want my daughter to grow into the person she will choose to be. I chose to shut out the millions of voices on these topics and have looked to make this much more basic.

Here are a few things I want to teach my daughter:

 

1. Always practice kindness

Never underestimate the value of your kindness extended to another, even to those who many be rude to you ~ they are often the ones in need of kindness the most.

There will be many people you will encounter in this world that will challenge you emotionally ~ it’s important that you never drop your personal standard to match another. And remember, take others as they are – sometimes that includes the warts and all.

 

2. Use your common sense

The world can be a scary place ~ unfortunately this is largely out of your control, but don’t be afraid to live in it. Question everything around you at all times ~ do not blindly accept what you are being presented with and use your own judgment. Your intuition will be a powerful tool in your possession.

Your teenage years will present many challenging circumstances (and while those years are a great distance away, my heart already clenches are what you may be faced with) but face each of them with common sense and the knowledge that you have choices to make and that power is in your hands. With every circumstance remember there are consequences.

 

3. Love your body

I once heard a quote that I can’t quite find the origins for now but it goes

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. If you could, you would see just how beautiful you are, and the extraordinary miracle of being you.

The moment you were born I looked at you and was astounded by your beauty. I loved every tiny inch of you and as I continue to watch you grow, I continue to love each and every part of you.

In the cycle of life the body will continue to change. You will go through lots of different external versions of yourself ~ that is normal. There will be times where you may find it challenging to accept these changes ~ that is normal too but remember to love your body for all it gives you ~ the ability to wake every day and engage with life wholly and completely.

Nourish your body with goodness from the foods and drinks you consume to the activities you will engage in.

Taste the foods of the world! Dance and climb and run and jump! Use your body as an important tool in the life you will create.

 

4. Give care to your mind.

The greatest assets you will ever possess are your thoughts. You will have many of them and no doubt you are already expressing the many you possess now.

Never forget the train your mind to remain open. Welcome new thoughts and ideas all the time. The more you nourish your mind, the greater rewards you will reap as you will continue to view the world around you in new ways.

 

5. Embrace technology but…

You will never know life without advanced technology. You will be encountering technologies that haven’t even been conceived yet. You will also hear the ‘old people’ (mostly Dad and I) talk about what life was like before technology took over and you will no doubt shake your head at our ‘strange’ descriptions of life. We will no doubt shake our heads at the new technologies that we will have difficulties in grasping.

Embrace the technology and learn to live with it to your advantage ~ yet remember there is a world out there that needs to be smelt, felt, seen and heard by you ~ all of which technology has nothing to do with.

Feel the sensation of the ocean as you swim within it and of the grass when you walk upon it.

          Watch an amazing sunset.

               Listen to the sounds of a rainforest and waterfall or the thundering clap of a wave smashing

               against the shore.

                    Smell the amazing scents of the trees and the ocean or the foods created from the earth.

Remember to switch off from technology and live outside of it. That is where you will create the greatest memories.

 

6. Never compromise your happiness

Life has much to offer you. Open your hands out to the universe and accept all of the marvelous gifts it has and watch your happiness flow. However ~ Happiness will not always come easy. You will have to work on it and often look for it in times where circumstances may be difficult. There will be times where you will be faced with choices that may make another person happy at the cost of your own ~ think carefully about these choices and always remember that if someone honestly and genuinely cares for you, they would not seek to have you compromise your own happiness for theirs.

What makes you happy today may not make you happy tomorrow ~ that’s okay. Be flexible enough and brave enough to make the choices as to what makes you happy and never settle for anything short of it.

 

7. You cannot save the world… but…

It is not your job to change or fix another person – nor is it your job to be the hero in someone else’s story ~ but never stop doing what you can to make the world a better place. Always think of the footprint you are living upon the soul of the world.

There will be people who will reach out for your help and because you will (hopefully) be exercising your kindness you will provide assistance but keep in mind that your morals, values and thoughts may not be universal.   Tread carefully in imposing your ideals of life on another. Instead learn to listen to the help they are seeking and do not judge them for not accepting your help – even when they have asked for it. Everyone deals with their lives in their own way and time.

 

8. Listen to your soul

Take the time to learn about the person you are ~ remember that this person will evolve and change over your lifetime ~ and this is okay ~ but at every point through your life’s journey pause to listen to who you are becoming and it is a collective decision between your heart and your mind as to whether this version fits with your morals and values.

You will experience happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, grief and every emotion in between on the rainbow of emotions ~ this is okay and often the appropriate reactions to the situations life will throw at you. Remember that nothing bad lasts forever and in the toughest of situations ask the question ~ will this matter in five years? The answer is usually no… unless you are a teenager and every circumstance will feel like the worlds end is nearing. I promise you – nothing bad lasts forever.

 

9. Mistakes will happen…

You will make choices that in hindsight may not have been the best ones to have made. I will expect you make many perceived mistakes ~ that is okay, but with every ‘mistake’ I ask you to learn from it. Take the lesson you need and move forward. Do not dwell on them or fall into fear of making another, halting your life’s progression. Dust off your knees, Keep moving forward. There will be ‘mistakes’ that you may need help to fix ~ this is also okay. It is important that you understand you can always ask for help. Dad and I will always help regardless of the problem free of judgment. There isn’t anything that cannot be fixed.

 

10. Dream Big! Aim High! But…

There is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. There is no dream too big or out of your reach. We will tell you that you can be absolutely anything you want to be or as many things as you want to dream to be! There is no limit to your goals but! Never forget that all your goals are within your hands to attain – through hard work – through determination – through your own motivation.

No one else will hold your hand to push you in life better than yourself. No one will hand your dreams to you ~ it is for you to work hard to achieve it. You will be so much prouder of yourself when you reach your hard earned goals with your own determination.

 

Dad and I will proud of you and love you always.

 

~ F.P